Unintentional Delays

Good evening, All!

I do greatly apologize for the insanely long absence. Life, as I’m sure everyone knows, seems to take the better of you when you least expect it. This past year of my life has been a complete whirlwind; time blinked past me before I realized it was gone. I’m not sure if I can say I’m a better person for the experience, but it was indeed an experience!

My first semester of school was trying, to put it lightly. My current semester of school is much less trying, but just as stressful. Nonetheless, six more semesters and I’ll be done! Let me tell you, I’m itching to be done. Between my work life and my social life, school is not an easy task to make time for, but I manage. Sleep seems to be the area of my life I willingly sacrificing, to a fault. Lack of sleep has taken its toll, in more ways than one. . .

Work has become much more of a difficult task than it used to be, and I’m not sure of the cause. It’s either that my attitude towards the job has changed, due to my increasing desire and excitement for seeing my dream become a reality. This could definitely cause some conflict in the workplace, I’m sure. Or, the conflict in the work place is what is causing my attitude to change. Or, what I believe, is that it might be a combination of the two. Regardless, it is making life more difficult than it should be. I love my job, I wouldn’t be work so hard and so much if it wasn’t something I enjoyed. At least now that my classes this semester are under control, I can focus on finding a cohesive solution to that problem. Shouldn’t be too hard, or that’s what I hope.

I’m going to breeze past relationships on this post, definitely not ready to hash all that out to the world. Maybe in subsequent posts. Maybe. Definitely a drama-llama there, much to my behest. . .

My final note for this post is much more positive, centered on the ever growing collection of comics I have acquired, from Deadpool to Star Wars and everything in between. Well, nearly everything. I have over thirty different titles, and nearly all of each series, though some are ongoing. My current running total has already reached over 300; I lost count. My collection is continuing to grow, and I am running out of room. I have each comic cataloged and organized, but my options for keeping them as such in my small apartment are becoming more and more limited by each comic I bring home. My question to you, dear readers:

Any clever ideas on organization and storage of these comics? (And, no, selling and/or throwing them out is not a valid answer, but nice try.)

Comment your answers!

I’ll be seeing you!

~

Happy New Year…and all that nonsense!

Welcome to the new year! …I suppose that is what I’m supposed to say? Today feels like any other day. I woke up and went to work. Today is nothing special for me…but I suppose the close of the previous year and the beginning of another is cause to celebrate and toast all the events that occurred in 2014 that led me here into the new year.

Where should I begin?

In my job, I had gotten used and abused by higher authority, transferred to another location against my will and without compensation, which all led to me getting promoted to the corporate level. I’m making a decent living and am appreciated for all that I do. I have few complaints about my job.

My social life has been a roller coaster of nonsense. Between losing long time friends and gaining unexpected ones, my list of trusted individuals is not what I had expected. I’m thankful for that. My separation and divorce caused stress and awkwardness with a few friends, made some friendships stronger, and others break completely. At the end of the year, I had a clear cut idea with whom my allegiances lay.

My academic life became an unexpected advancement. I had graduated in the spring of 2013 with an Associates degree. I had decided I had earned some time off from the hectic life that school at the college I attended. After long debates with various individuals, and learning that my job will reimburse me a very significant amount of my tuition, I applied to a university…and got in. Starting in just a few weeks, I will beginning my two plus year trek to receive my Bachelors. I am no longer feeling any form of dread or irritation like I had felt near the end of my Associates. I can’t wait.

I have found my current niche in the world. After feeling lost for most of my life, feeling as if I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, I finally am where I’m supposed to be. I’m significantly less stressed with life, seeing a clear cut path to my future. I can see my choices in front of me, and I feel comfortable in choosing to do what I believe is right for me. I’m no longer hesitant to make decisions and to go my own way. I still have a long way to go, but I feel as if I am finally the adult I sought to become. Today feels like any other day, probably because I don’t need the consolation of the start of a new year to feel like a new person, to reinvent myself like so many. No, I’m exactly who I want to be at the start of the bright and promising new year.

Dating, Divorce and Bittersweet Goodbyes…

Today was my last day in my current job position. I’ve gotten the honor of being promoted out of the gas station locale and into the corporate business world. It’s a step up, and an exciting opportunity. Turns out that exciting isn’t quite the right word…I find this entire scenario is bittersweet. I’m very happy to be promoted. I’ll be making a lot more money and I won’t be doing any physical labor during my work day. Life will get better. But, it means I have to say goodbye to all the people, customers and coworkers alike, that I’ve developed friendships and acquaintance-ships with. Final farewells have taken me a few days to complete. Some of the vendors that come in to drop off shipments of Coca-cola or Pepsi, Frito-lay and others I only see once or twice a week, normally. While certain customers only come in on certain days and coworkers have their set schedules that offset my own. I managed to say goodbye to all of them. Well, except one…

This one is a particularly special customer that came in nearly every morning and would flirt with me. After a few weeks, he could bring a smile to my face just by walking through the door. That was quite a feat for me during those early months when the divorce-events were still fresh, the wounds still gaping. One of my coworkers joked that he was my boyfriend, and during the time that we didn’t know his name, we simply referred to him as my cowboy. Even after knowing his name, he was always referred to as my boyfriend or my cowboy. Though, the flirting always remained innocent and playful, I honestly have to credit him for helping me through such a tough time. Unfortunately, he’s married with kids, not to mention twice my age. Despite that, I wish I could have at least said goodbye to him. I hadn’t seen him in over a month….I had gotten transferred stores at the end of July, and he made the effort to stop in to say hi every so often, but my new locale was a bit out of his way.

I’m eternally grateful to him and hope he knows the positive impact he made on my life. He would flirt and tell me stories and jokes to make me smile and laugh. While I felt undesirable and unwanted during the first few months after my ex-husband and I separated, my cowboy made me feel, in a way, sexy again. He gave me the confidence I had lost. I owe him a lot…

While I can reminisce fondly on my cowboy, with a smile on my face, I know that no matter the circumstances, there never would be a future with him. (Though it hasn’t stopped the various fantasies!) There is, however, a few men I have met and interacted with that I could see a future with…The trick is, getting to the next phase from acquaintance-ship to something else. I’m still recovering from the divorce, but the desire for companionship has quickly returned. Instead of sitting and waiting on the sidelines, I decided to make a move…

Yesterday, I gave a guy my number.

I have been anxiously waiting for a phone call or text from him. It’s practically torture. Various friends have shared that they are sure he will, the only question is on when. Dating procedures sure are screwy! Apparently, he could call me anytime from that day to a week from now…A week! That’s so long! I don’t know if I can last a week…Though, deep down I know that there is a decent chance that he might not even be interested, or even single, but still. A girl can hope, right?

During an enlightening discussion about this with a good friend of mine that I have known for years, I pinpointed what kind of relationship I’m still in search of. Though I believe I haven’t found the correct wording, according to my friend, it’s “pretty close.”

I want that relationship where you share everything like inseparable best friends who sleep together and share the decision that there could be no one else. It’s a feeling that I yearn for deep inside; I just know that my description is incomplete. Simply put, I want someone to play around with, poke fun at and enjoy the stupid mistakes that we fall into. This is a need so strong that thinking, wishing and dreaming about it often bring me to tears…I hope I find it.

Thanks to my cowboy for getting me back on my emotional feet and for my promotion, I had gained the courage to put myself out there and give a guy my number. I have never had that kind of confidence before in my life. I suppose I’m beginning to find myself in this world of chaos. Maybe I can find love, too.

Green-eyed-monsters are scary!

I feel so much older than I am…

I’m in my early twenties, but I’ve experienced quite a bit in my short life. I’ve already been married, and I’m nearing the end of my divorce. The details of my divorce aren’t something I’m going to go into, for respect of my soon-to-be-ex-husband. Though, to say the least, it’s been a very difficult process just accepting the fact that my marriage is over. It’s been one constant battle after another with my own emotions, and I don’t think I’m winning this war any time soon. But, like I’ve always been told, life moves on. I’ve been trying to move on.

Nothing about moving on is easy. Nothing about marriage is easy. Nothing about divorce is easy. At least, not for me. I’m just doing the best I can… Yet on days like today, I don’t know if “doing my best” is even close to enough.

Today, I got the pleasure of meeting my best friend’s boyfriend. With all the details she’s shared with me over these past few weeks they had been seeing each other, I felt like I already knew him. Compared to her recent string of guys she’s dated, I can confidently say that she finally picked a good one. It’s just too early to tell if he’s her one. He seems like a great guy, but one dinner isn’t quite enough to determine if he’s even worthy of the greatness that is my best friend.

My “bestie” has dealt with me for about eight years, and we’re still counting. I’ve seen her through many new-relationship blissful times and many heart breaking times. And she’s seen me through similar. Is it too soon to say that we’ve bonded for life? If it is, oh well, I’m saying it…She’s the sister I never had and didn’t know I needed. Unfortunately, the sisterly-best-friend-love wasn’t enough to save me from the extensive jealousy I was overwhelmed with tonight…

He held and kissed her hand. He played with her fingers and gave her all those long looks that I desperately missed from the beginning of my relationship with my soon-to-be-ex. He seems so great and she was so happy, I shoved down the jealousy that was rearing it’s ugly face. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so ecstatic that she’s so happy. She deserves every minute of this new-relationship bliss. I truly hope that the boyfriend is worthy of her. I really, really do…even though the green-eyed-monster (just in time for Halloween!) is whispering the contrary…

Misery really does love company, doesn’t it?

Certainly isn’t her fault that she finds romance while I find heartache. Just doesn’t change the fact that I’m jealous of her new-found happiness. The only logical idea I can use to sate this horrible green-eyed-monster is that I had my turn with happiness three years ago, now it’s hers. Hopefully, when my turn comes again, she’s not trotting down Misery Lane. Definitely a road well traveled, which is probably why it’s so run down… Misery Lane, the shanty villages that merge into the slums of Memory Lane. You know the slums of Memory Lane I refer to; we all do. Those memories that are so bittersweet that they border on the edge of the great memories, but they bring so much negative emotions that they bring you right back into those horrible moments that make you hate everything about them. Fun times…

Unfortunately for me, heartbreak and jealous go hand in hand. I guess it’s time to put on my big-girl underwear and grow up a little. I’m closing in the six month mark of being separated from my soon-to-be-ex, and subsequently closing in on the acceptable time for self-wallowing. That chapter of my life is over, it’s time for me to turn the page and catch up with my best friend. It’s October, my favorite month of the year. The time when the weather starts getting cold and the world is filled with such rich shades of oranges, reds and browns. It’s time to shed the layers of hurting and suffering. It’s time to open up the windows and take a breath of fresh air. It’s time to smile and enjoy the fact that my bestie might finally be getting her shot. It’s her turn for the spotlight in our friendship, I think I’ve hogged it enough.

Welcome to Hell

These past few weeks of my life have been a whirlwind, threatening to suffocate me. Truthfully, I believe it succeeded. Sunday evening, though, everything stood still. My dad had called me up with news, the kind I certainly didn’t want to hear. My precious baby girl, Luckie, is a nearly-nine-year-old Rottweiler mix and the damned sweetest thing on the whole planet. Turns out, she had injured herself while coming down the stairs and wouldn’t bear weight on one of her back legs.

Some background on the situation: I live in a third floor apartment; my dad lives in a small two story townhouse. It just made sense for my dad to keep my dog for the time being, him having a yard and everything. Living away from Luckie is very, very difficult. I miss her butt squirming over to sit against me in the middle of the night. I miss her heavy sighs just before she falls asleep. I even miss the gentle snoring and whimpering she does while she dreams. She is my sweet, sweet baby girl. So, naturally, when I received that call, the laundry was left in the washer and the lights were left on. I stopped everything I was doing and raced over. My heart was in the my throat with worry. She’s an older dog, and any injury such as this tends to spell disaster.

After I arrive, I thoroughly check her over. My dad worried it was her hip, so I worried it was her hip. It wasn’t her hip. Close observation and gentle manipulation of her limbs told me it wasn’t her hips. Maybe she had stepped on something? Looking over every single toe, nail and crevice along her paws told me it wasn’t her toes. I checked out the tendons and the muscles and the bones, finding all to be intact and strong. There was only one piece of information that was out of the normal. Her knee was popping, which it never did before, and she refused to put her leg firm on the floor.

Decisions were made. To the animal hospital we went…for four hours.

I carried my 45lb dog out the door and into the car, then out of the car and into the waiting room while my dad filled out the necessary information. I then carried her down the hallway and into an exam room where the nurse did a quick check up on her eyes, ears, nose, etc. We then waiting for a little over an hour at this point before the veterinarian even showed up. During this wait, the sounds of barking and whimpering were all we could hear. It broke my heart to listen to, and it scared Luckie to the point that she buried herself into the corner behind my chair.

Fast forward a few hours. Luckie is now in the back with the vet for tests. A strong sedative, two x-rays and a physical exam revealed that my poor pup has torn her ACL. She’s not in pain, but she can’t use her leg. We are now given the option between

1) letting her scar over on her own. She’ll be unable to use her leg for three weeks to two months, but she’d regain function, although limited. She’d also have a 50/50 chance of blowing out her other knee within the next year or so.

and

2) a pricy surgery to repair the ACL so she can regain full function of her knee and lessen the impact it will have on the next few years of her life.

Neither seem like a great choice, am I right? An expensive examination fee and a high-as-a-kite pup later, we’re back at home. Luckie is sleeping off the sedative on the couch, curled next to me. She woke up every twenty minutes, looking around with a panicked look until I started petting her, cooing her back to sleep. If I hadn’t had to work the next morning, I would have stayed and watched over her like a hawk. Honestly, I should have just stayed. I didn’t sleep a wink when I arrived home. Worry is hell…

Monday after work, I went over to my dad’s to check up on Luckie. Other than the limping, you’d think there wasn’t a thing wrong with her. Though, once my dad arrived home from work, as well, the real discussions began. Settling on choice number two, it is now on me to research the veterinarian surgeons in and around the city I live. I have got to say, it’s a nightmare.

I remember when Google search was a useful tool to find you any piece of information you want. Now, I can’t seem to navigate through the various Facebook pages of people listing that they’re vets and the job descriptions and posting that have flooded the first five pages of the search. Evening refining the search with pieces of information, along with +, -, and all the other search-engine tricks I know, hasn’t increased search productivity. I can find addresses and phone numbers of various clinics around the state, but finding decent reviews that don’t sound completely factitious is proving to be a nearly impossible venture.

I have found a few viable choices, but without any decent review site options, I don’t feel like I can make an informed choice on which surgeon I want operating on my dog…

So I voted for my only other viable option…………I called my dad. It has been a long time since I’ve had this much trouble with research, a long time. Hopefully he can find some better information. I certainly know that I will no longer call it “Google Magic.”

Oh, no. It can be nothing else except:

“Google Hell.”

So much can go wrong…

I have my own bakery, though mine isn’t in some luxurious space in a shopping plaza. No, mine is a little closer to home. Using my own kitchen definitely poses a challenge. I faced a few of the head on this week, and the week isn’t over yet.

I had an order for twenty four Pennsylvania Dutch chocolate cupcakes for Wednesday and an order for a chocolate-strawberry cheesecake for tomorrow. Frustration had set in quick earlier in the week, especially since I have a day job I work at Monday through Friday. Work all day, come home and work some more. Exhausting, but it pays the bills, and leaves me a little extra.

I learned two lessons while baking this week. First, I need a bigger kitchen…

When the only counter space available is that tiny, and that easily cluttered, that’s how you know you kitchen is far too small. Containers everywhere, measuring cups and spoons scattered, dishes stacking in various places. Trust me, you don’t want to see my stove top…

Tackling the mess and keeping a clean kitchen is challenge enough, but this proves much more difficult when you discover a necessary ingredient is missing from the pantry. Which brings me to lesson number two: always, always, ALWAYS double check the ingredients list against pantry items before grocery shopping.

About halfway through mixing up the batter for my cupcakes, it called for a 1/4 cup shortening. I took the step and the pivot to my pantry, reaching to retrieve it from the top shelf only to grasp air. Dumbfounded, I searched most of the apartment I live only to discover I had completely imagined that I had bought the shortening. In the panic, and crippling frustration, I google alternate recipes for what I’m already partially creating. I find a few viable choices and set to work.

Cupcakes are supposed to be light, moist and bounce back when you gently touch the top. These ended up being dense and doughy. My buttercream wouldn’t achieve the necessary peaks needed. It was so thin I can’t classify it as a frosting. Closer to an icing or a glaze, maybe.

I managed to salvage the wreckage and make the cupcakes look presentable, but no where near my best. At least these cupcakes went to a friend. Bribes and promises followed, all now is well. The cupcakes are being devoured and enjoyed, even though the icing melted when my friend drove them home.

Both lessons could have ended a lot worse. Luckily, I pulled it together despite the setbacks in space and stuff. Though, honestly, I’m just so glad tomorrow’s Friday!

First Post Jitters

My very first blog posting, and I’m not quite sure what to include. So many ideas are running rampant through my mind, but it’s only the beginning. I have plenty of time for all my ideas to occur within this blog.

Let’s begin with some introductions. I suppose I should start:

I am a full time, low-man on the totem pole, employee for a fortune 500 company. Balancing that with a full time schedule for college classes and the social life from hell, I’m a busy girl. Trying to find time for the extensive amounts of hobbies that I have, and enjoy, is very difficult. That’s the reason I created this blog; to share the experiences, thoughts, and life lessons included in enjoying so many different pastimes. I’m much looking forward to hearing feedback, personal experiences that relate, or just opinions.

I dabble in quite a few of the more creative hobbies, spanning from jewelry making and baking, all the way to reading, writing and drawing. I can’t wait to begin sharing…Where should I start?